Yesterday is Gone..but Today is Here

08/30/2019

As we go through changes and adjust to life, sometimes we may ponder why me?? Waking up this morning with this thought, the words why not me came to mind. I know, very deep huh?

As a lot of you, who truly know me, also know I can live in a little bit of a fairytale sometimes. I'm always trying to remain positive. Which is a good thing, but there is also reality as well.

Why not me, going through this Journey of the little - C ?  Yes, yesterdays challenges of life are gone, but today is here and today is a gift. All of these emotions that come with cancer are real and scary.  So many unanswered questions and whys. Here is the thing,  I want to rely on my faith in God, that everyday he is carrying me through each of these challenges that may arise. He has given me the gift of life, to live and not take for granted so many things I know I have in the past. I am willing to embrace this journey that I am on right now, and share in hopes that it may help others not to give up, but to look up and know you are not alone in this battle!

One of my first challenges that I encountered, when I heard I had cancer, was that I was going to LOSE my hair. My first thought was WHAT!! I wasn't focused on anything else. Like, being sick, how many treatments, what this is doing to my body. All I could focus on was my HAIR. Now when I look back, I realize I was making a MOUNTAIN out of a MOLEHILL. You learn very quickly, after being diagnosed with cancer, what are the most important things in life. Your hair isn't one of them, it will grow back. I remember my Oncologist saying to me, it will come back, and it may come back curly. To me, that is AMAZING I love curly hair.

My point is, I want to embrace all THIS ENTIRE journey, and not take ANYTHING for granted. I'm learning on the fly, to let go of those so call MOLEHILLS, and not turn them in to MOUNTAINS.

This why, I'm documenting everything.

Here is a small clipping of the past. A lock of hair, that was a MOUNTAIN that,
I've overcome.

I hope you guys have a rocking day and I will be back with more

later!

The Flaming Journey Continues...

August 28th, 2019

God morning! ( I meant to type GOOD) but I am leaving this here because it is a God morning, just like each day is. So thankful for this morning. Yes, guess what I was up early again! That is ok, gives me a chance to reflect, journal, create, maybe have coffee (NOPE lost taste for this..LOL) and blog.

Yesterday, I left off with how the "Little c" began. After waking up from the hysterectomy surgery, all I could really focus on was healing from my surgery and knowing that I needed to take one step at a time. I didn't really allow myself to focus on my diagnosis in hand.

The people who truly know me and know the heart of Jen, also know I have a hard time putting myself first. (stubborn, comes natural..LOL) Once, the diagnosis truly sat in with me, I knew that I would need to make some changes, but also knew it would not be easy. that is where the one step at a time comes in. 

When you hear the word CANCER, it is one of those oh crap moments and here comes that big bag of emotions. My first thought was of my Dad (who passed away of Cancer) but then all I kept hearing is my Oncologist Surgeon saying I got it all, but you will need treatment. Reflecting back to my Dad, he had a type of Cancer, that there not a cure for. So I was very thankful that the type I have, there is treatment for. 

Even in my big bag of emotions and with so many questions, the one thing I hold true to my heart is the "GREATEST PHYSICIAN" my GOD has this and he is going to utilize my journey, to help others realize they are not alone in whatever battle you are facing. 

Yes cancer, chemo, and radiation are scary but I know I am wrapped in LOVE. Knowing this puts comfort to my soul. Even, when I falter and want to go back to those negative places.

After learning about the chemo process (warning: never do research on your own, meaning stay off of WEB MD...scary...I have to remember there is not MD behind my name so let the trained ones handle this!) I knew it would be a process. Chemo is very entailed (I have radioactive powers😃) and make sure you bring your circle of people with you so they can ask questions, because for me all I was focusing on was the start date and feeling overwhelmed. (I even wrote questions down)

You're probably wandering why I have called this post the "The Flaming Journey Continues" Well, let me tell you. When all of your female piping has gone bye,bye guess what, that's right, here comes MENOPAUSE-AKA NO JOKE about those flaming hot flashes. Here is the thing, the medical team kept saying you can start having the RED HOT flashes after three to four weeks from surgery. (that did not register in my brain) So here we are present day!

When the hot flashes occur my first thought is to strip, because I am hot. Funny thing is I am never hot, always cold because of (lipedema, lymphedema, and chronic venous insufficiency.) Well my partner in crime, is like what you going to do when you start chemo? WAIT WHAT?? Yes, you got it with Chemo, those hot little flashes get worse. They now last 3-4 minutes (feels like eternity). Oh boy, one suggestion-prepare yourself. (not sure how to tell you to do this, because I have no clue..lol)

To answer your question, NO I did not strip during my first Chemo session. My first chemo was last Thursday. When I walked into the infusion center, that big bag of emotions was back but the Nurses and staff, do a phenomenal job to answer all questions and put your mind at ease.

Well, here comes another one of those flaming hot flashes. (I am a hot mess) and look forward to posting again soon.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xo1VInw-SKc

Have a beautiful day! 

"Rewind"--To the Beginning--My 1st post.

08/27/2019

As some of you may know, I was in the hospital with a major health issue on Saturday July 13th, 2019.

I spent a very long day in the Mt. Carmel ER. The clock started ticking at 8:30 a.m. and did not stop until 1:35 am Sunday morning. --Yes, for those of you who are counting, a whopping total of 17 hours and 5 minutes.

Let's just say, it wasn't an E ride at Disney World. It was a roller coaster alright but not the one you want to sign up for. (LOL)

After a CT scan, I was given the news that the scan revealed two masses in those "Lovely" female parts.

One mass located in the right ovary, and one located in the uterus. After a long extended weekend, my Surgical Team was able to perform an emergency full hysterectomy on Tuesday July 16th, 2019.

Unfortunately, I won the BLUE RIBBON, for having the largest amount of fluid pulled from my abdomen that my Oncologist/Surgeon has ever scene. A total of 13 ml.

After surgery, I was told that both masses looked to be cancerous, but a final diagnosed would be performed by the Pathologist. 

After three days of recovery on the Oncology floor, I was given the diagnosis of Stage 3 Uterine cancer.

On Friday July 19th, I was released from the hospital with a mixed bag of emotions. I had a complete hysterectomy, but I was still dealing with Cancer. 


Follow me, on my journey, in dealing with this disease. I'm going to try and give you a glimpse from beginning to end. Along the way I want to journal and share my steps to recovery. 

My next post is always up in the air, due to how I feel. I plan on posting my second post in 48 hours. 

Jen